Outpatient Surgery Revelations about Love

August 11, 2009

Today Natalie had her tonsils and adenoids removed. She had really huge tonsils, and the orthodontist recommended having them removed to prevent any speech problems and help alleviate strep throat and help her to stop snoring. Everything went great and I look for her to make a speedy recovery and be able to return to school next Wednesday. She has to take off an extra week before she can start soccer and basketball, but she should be just fine. Natalie has been drugged up on Lortab today and has been so cute and affectionate. She has wanted me to hold her and snuggle with her and it has been so nice. She has told us all how much she loves us and I have been relishing the moments because I know once the meds wear off that she will be back to telling us where to stick it.

Kevin and I were sitting in the room waiting on Natalie to return and I told him that he really should go to school to be a nurse--of course then I couldn’t resist making a Gaylord Focker joke, just for the simple reason that I love the Fockers so very much, but in all seriousness, my husband would make a wonderful nurse. He is very nurturing and fun-loving and a great care-giver and has a technical side that I do not possess. He told me that there is no way we could make it if he went back to school though. I felt a little rotten that I hadn’t finished my degree 10 years ago when I should’ve, so we could have a little more flexibility for the pursuit of the careers that would make us happy instead of the jobs that would feed the family. I asked him if he was happy. He said, “With my job?” I said, “No, I mean with us.” He simply shook his head yes and replied, “Yeah. Yeah, I am.” So at that very moment I felt tears trickling down my cheeks and suddenly appreciated my husband more than I had in a really long time.

A lot of times I get wrapped up in my own wants and the world around me and I forget about the tremendous amount of love my husband has for me and our children. He’s not a romantic guy, despite my begging and pleading for romance. It’s not really the storybook romance that makes life wonderful though, I have finally realized. In two weeks, we will be married 12 years. As I think back over those quick 12 years, I ask myself what stands out to me? Is it a vacation? Is it something spectacular we did? Is it something that cost a ton of money? The answer is a unanimous no.

What would I miss if I didn’t have my husband here with me? I would miss his annoying whistling that my daughter has now also picked up. I would miss the way he says, “Huh?” when he clearly hears the question but doesn’t want to be forthcoming with the answer. I would miss his texts that say u2 when I text him a 3 page text telling him how much I love him. I would miss the way he fixes all the broke stuff for me. I would miss how he lets me run with my crazy ideas. I would miss the way that he goes to Walmart to pick up beer and brings home a Decorating magazine for me. I would miss the way he lets me lay on his pillow and pretends he doesn’t notice. I would miss the way he hides away chocolate bars for me and pulls them out when he sees me searching the house frantically for “something sweet.” I would miss the way he orders what I like at a restaurant in case I don’t like mine and I might want to trade. I would miss those big blue eyes that can see right through all the surface stuff and straight into my soul.
Sure, music and flowers and chocolates are lovely….but I'd take Walmart surprises, back porch sitting, and marshmallow roasting any ole day.