Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Fear-Conquering Love


Mother’s Day weekend 2020 was great. My husband helped me hang family pics on the wall and then he built me a new farmhouse table for the porch! I loved it so much that I decided to keep it in the dining room. My children all sat around it on Mother’s Day Sunday and we had dinner together. My heart and my belly were full!


My husband did the mowing and trimming that afternoon. With all the rain we have been getting, it was a mess! When he finally sat down that evening, he commented that his allergies/sinuses were really flared up and we talked about old people stuff like gas prices and the pollen count. He got up the next morning and went to work as usual and returned home that day. We have all been lifting weights religiously at 4pm daily and that week was no different. We had a good week and good following weekend.

Monday afternoon I got a big wave of fatigue. It's unlike me to not be going full speed, but I had taken a Zyrtec that day, so I thought maybe that had made me drowsy. The week continued with mild symptoms that I easily wrote off as allergy/cold symptoms, but after losing my smell and taste, I decided to get a Covid test.

First of all, huge shout out to Med Express in Lewisburg. Top notch. I have had nothing but great care from everyone there from office staff to PA and I appreciate that so much. Got my symptoms assessed, had my test. The PA said he felt in his gut that I had a cold and he would be very surprised if it came back positive for Covid. I told him I appreciated his sentiments, but I fell for that in 2016, so I will go ahead and not put all my eggs in that basket.

I went home and sat around on pins and needles as I awaited the results, eerily nostalgic of a few years back.

MedExpress called and said the test was positive. Next came notifying everyone that I had contact within certain timeframes, as well as Kevin notifying his employer. This is different from cancer. With cancer I mostly only had me to worry about. With this, I have everybody else to worry about.

Riley and Kevin tested after my results came in. Riley has tested positive with very mild symptoms. Wyatt is awaiting test results. Kevin’s test came back yesterday and was “unidentifiable” so anything I say about that would be mere speculation, as we don't know.

All who have had been around us were contacted by us when test results were received and then also by Health Department.

We continue to all do well.

I have had days of pity party and why me. I have pondered the fact that I really don't have very good luck.

But maybe the opposite is true.
Maybe I have great luck.
No doubt I've endured some crappy things, but God hasn't left my side through any of it.
I'm one of the ones who has tested positive for Covid. What are the odds of that? I had a rare type of breast cancer and now this.
It sucks.
The degree of suck is way up there.
But I'm ok, my family is ok, and I'm prayerfully trusting that everyone else is going to be also.
I was upset Saturday morning and my dad sent me this.
Cancer, Covid, and all the other stuff.
Fear cannot exist where love is in complete control.