Oh yeah, the jumbling. Shake, shake. My brain is like a snow globe.
I got up this morning and did the "morning with three kids act." Luckily, only one packer today, so it was less of an assembly line than most mornings. Nobody needed any last minute cash or elaborate projects or four dozen cupcakes made, so all in all it was a success. I sent two away via bus and then took last born to school via automobile and back home, still wearing the same sexy ensemble that I wore all day yesterday and slept in last night, complete with my glasses and crazy bed head.
I decided since I didn't have to be at work until 10, I had plenty of time to take a shower and actually look presentable for a change. I took a lovely HOT shower, which is a premium in my house because I have three hot water loving children who have no consideration for anybody else in the house who might want to knock the stank off with a little bit of hot water. Today I had hot water though. I decided to skip shaving my legs because...well.
Do I really need a reason?
Who cares if I'm wearing a skirt today. I'm alone in my office. Nobody knows but me and God. Well. And all of you all now. Speaking of shaving, I just saw on Pinterest that using Baby Oil gel to shave with was all the rage.
Exhibit A
So of course I'm willing to jump on any ole bandwagon, so I got some the other day. It's not a new product to me; I've used baby oil gel in the past. I'm not really sure why I was thinking this would work, because all it did was clog up my insanely expensive razor blades and made me nearly bust my ass in the the slick bathtub. I use the Schick Hydro Silk razor, by the way. And yes, it's the best razor out there and YES, I have tried them ALL. I will stick with shaving with a cheapo conditioner and use the baby oil gel afterwards. I may try just a little of that baby oil gel in my frizzy hair and see how that works though.
I got out of the shower and I could feel it. My curly hair was trying to bust out from underneath that towel. It's been pouring the rain for two straight days and my hair has been waiting for this moment to make is grand ROCKSTAR appearance. I lotioned with Rain Kissed Leaves this morning to stick with the rainy theme and then I unveiled what I was up against. I looked in that mirror and I said, "Fine, buckaroo. We'll do things your way today." So I quickly drew my gun (Got 2b Kinkier Gloss 'n Define Curl Cream by Schwarzkopf) available at Fine retailers worldwide (Walmart) and I pumped that bad boy three times and I could just hear my locks letting out the Hallelujah chorus when I applied that product, knowing that I wouldn't be smothering their wild desires with a flat iron today. I found my old friend the diffuser and VOILA! Curls ahoy me mateys!
After I got all ready for work, I decided I should put away my clean laundry that was piled up in my floor. Then I decided I was officially making the call that winter was over (I mean...I DO have the built in hair meteorological thing going on) and I was going OUT with the sweaters and IN with the tanks. Then halfway through, I decided "Ain't nobody got time for that!" then I just made a couple of beds instead.
Then I decided it would really be awesome if dinner was ready when I got home, so at 9:50, I took the chicken out of the freezer and popped it in the microwave to defrost. Did I mention I had to be at work at 10?
This leads me to my entire motivation for today's blog. I suffer from a true illness. Some (losers) would call it lack of planning. Some (butt faces) would call it lack of focus. It's a true illness though, friends! And there is scientific research to justify my lack of planning and focus ILLNESS!
Take a look at this. It will crack you up. Unless you are always on time for everything, then you just won't get it and I will really have to question why we are even friends in the first place.
In all seriousness, while I don't think I necessarily suffer from a "condition," there are certainly attributes of the "chronically late condition" which I TOTALLY suffer from. Topping the list is "not setting realistic expectations on how long something will take me to do."
Like the chicken in the crockpot.
Honest to goodness, I thought with my entire being that I could defrost five chicken breasts, make a barbeque sauce from scratch and have that in the crockpot in five minutes and be ready to walk out the door. My brain lacks that thing that says "You dummy, you cannot paint your entire house in three hours." And that deficit causes me to start lots of various messes that I never have time to finish.
Now that everybody thinks I am a curly-headed, chronically late, freak of nature, let me close with the happiness quote that was in my inbox today.
“Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already I am."- Thomas MertonAnd that's kind of what it's all about. I'm never going to be early for
And that's okay!
My hair is never going to be brilliantly straight and shiny like someone who has naturally straight and shiny hair.
You will never be able to eat off my floors. Consider it a success if you can even take your shoes off on my floors.
I'm never going to run. Because I hate it. But good luck keeping up with me walking because I rock at that.
We are all on this big, magnificent planet together and we're all made so awesomely with different personalities and talents. We spend too much time focusing on our shortcomings instead of rocking out our strengths. All those cliches about being yourself...they're goofy. But they're TRUE!
Be yourself.
If you like doing yoga, do yoga! If you like reading, read! If you like making paper mache bird nests, then by gosh, you make paper mache bird nests and you rock that shit out.
Until next time,
~Lightning Bug
*shake, shake*
