February 19.
Today marked the two year anniversary of the day I got the “Unfortunately
it is cancer” call.
A month ago, I told my husband that we were going to celebrate and make
this day full of happy memories!
We were planning on getting all dressed up and having a
fancy dinner. I had the perfect little black dress and heels picked out.
I didn't bother making a reservation because it's Monday and who the heck eats a fancy dinner on Monday night? At 4pm we realized the reason that nobody eats a fancy dinner on Monday is because all of the fancy
restaurants around are closed on Mondays. My plans were getting all twisted and I didn’t
like feeling out of control. It was oddly reminiscent of the way I was feeling two
years ago.
I came home from work and I wasn’t having the best day. I was
feeling defeated. The gala planning had me stressed, work had me stressed and
now my plans that I had been so looking forward to were all crapped out. I put
my pjs on at 4:30 and I crawled in my bed and I curled up in the fetal position
and I cried.
February 19—the two year anniversary of the day I got the
news that I had cancer. And I am still here surviving and thriving! And I am in
my bed in my pjs at 4:30pm crying because I felt so overwhelmed.
My husband came in and was excited and he said we were going
to Drapers at the Greenbrier! I told him no. He knew I wanted to go there for
my 40th birthday and get a banana split, but we didn’t make it. I
could’ve made up for that tonight, but I was too busy wallowing. He left me
alone for a while and then he returned. He sat down and said, “You’re not
having the best day are you?” I shook my head no. He asked what was wrong. I
replied that I sucked at life. He reminded me that I did not suck at life and in fact, I was pretty good at it. I
cried some more.
About an hour later, he asked me if I wanted to go eat.
I said let’s go to The Rail and get a burger.
And so we did.
It wasn’t fancy and it wasn’t what I had planned, but it worked
out.
February 19, 2016 was also a plan crasher.
But it worked out, too.
But it worked out, too.
Here we are after a long evening but a great burger and a beer!
