Back out in the world...the WallyWorld

Today I went out in the world. The Wally World, that is. 

It’s not that I have been avoiding the place, per se, it’s just that Kevin has been doing the shopping for the last couple of weeks to help me out. Today I needed some almond milk for my yummy smoothies so I went to Walmart this morning. Unless you live in Covington, VA or some other little Smalltown, USA, you won’t understand this. Walmart is not only a supercenter for groceries, motor oil and small kitchen appliances, but it is also a social gathering supercenter. If you go to the Walmart, you are guaranteed to see a minimum of ten people you know. That’s just how it is. I was there pretty early though, so the odds were in my favor. It wasn’t really that I didn’t want to see anyone, but rather, that I had barely combed my hair and I hadn’t applied any makeup this morning. I like to look halfway presentable on a normal day, but when you are recently diagnosed with cancer, you want to look great when you go out. You want people to say, “Oh I saw Amanda today and she looked fantastic!” as opposed to “Oh my gosh, I saw Amanda today and she looked like death warmed over.”

When I walked in Walmart, I hadn’t even made it to get my buggy and there was a breast cancer survivor who had reached out to me not long after my diagnosis. She gave me a hug and asked how I was and she said, “Now you’re going to have to get used to this. You have to come out and people are going to see you and you will be just fine.” Of all the people for me to run into as soon as I darkened the non-pearly gates of the Wallyworld. Coincidence my hiney. She was placed in my path. As I went through the store, I ran into a couple more people who grabbed me and hugged me. Having people care about you…knowing people are praying for you…it’s the best feeling in the world when everything around you is in limbo.

After I finished up in Wallyworld, I thought hmmm, I’m going to go over to Burger King because my dad has breakfast at BK almost every morning. You know the Tim McGraw song "Live Like You We're Dying?"  There's a line that says, "All of a sudden going fishing, wasn't such an imposition..." That line of that song has played in my mind since being diagnosed. I am not planning on dying but when you receive life-changing news, things that seemed inconvenient or unimportant suddenly aren't anymore. I popped over there and he was there so I sat down with him and had a cup of coffee. I ran into another lady who wasn’t a cancer survivor but had an awesome story of how God had completely healed her not once, but twice. I’m talking she was prepped for surgery and they went in and what they thought was there was no longer there. Miracles happen.

I told my dad last night that I wanted to get a bird feeder so the red birds would come back to see me. When I sat down today, he said he started researching last night to see what the cardinals liked to eat and what kind of feeders they liked. My daddy. He is something else. He was going to Tractor Supply after breakfast to get me a feeder and the right kind of seed (cardinals like sunflower seeds, cracked corn and millet.) You should go get you a bird feeder and seed if you don’t have one. I always thought I had enough animals to feed and I didn’t have time for the birds, but there is something so peaceful about birds. And just like everything else that hasn’t been a coincidence; the “fight song” that I picked for this battle is “Fly” by Maddie & Tae. 

Click here to see Maddie & Tae performing Fly at Children's Hospital at Vanderbilt

I found out on Friday morning, February 19^th that I have breast cancer. It hasn’t even been two weeks.  In those almost two weeks, I have had 13 breast cancer survivors contact me. Each one of those beautiful, awesome ladies has given me something different. I am now in this exclusive club that I didn’t want to ever join, but I am now a card carrying member. It’s like a sorority and those 13 ladies (and counting because I know more will emerge) are my big sisters who look after me and help me every step along the way. They have been through it and they know. They have cried the same tears and they have stayed up at night with the same worries. They understand. And when I make it through to the other side, I too, will be somebody’s big sister.

The Saturday after I found out, I was out walking. It was a beautiful afternoon. A friend messaged me and said, “My sister has been through this and if you ever want to talk to her…” Little did I know that this person would become my biggest cheerleader. Then last night, I was put in the path of a triple negative survivor. Nobody wants to have this common bond. None of us wanted to get cancer. But we did and good CAN come from it. We can be a light to one another—people who would have never been put in my path if not for this are now there. Good WILL come from this. I’ve already seen it so many times in just a short time.

I have received cards and calls and texts and gifts and food and emails (hundreds of emails!) I have the BEST team behind me. Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me. Your love overwhelms me and sustains me.

-lightningbug