Hair in curlers kind of life...

It has been a while since I wrote last! That’s a good thing! That means I am busy living! I am all finished with chemotherapy. Hallefreakinglujah on that! Now I am in r&r mode for six weeks awaiting my double mastectomy.

I still have side effects from the chemo. I have had some neuropathy. Neuropathy is disease or dysfunction of one or more peripheral nerves, typically causing numbness or weakness. The peripheral nervous system is a network of 43 pairs of motor and sensory nerves that connect the brain and spinal cord (the central nervous system) to the entire human body. 

So. What’s that mean? Well, I can’t feel my fingers and toes a lot of the time. I have a constant eye twitch that is driving me BONKERS! That’s from the chemo. I go from hot to cold worse than a menopausal woman! I freeze to death and put on fleece pjs before bed and then halfway through the night I’m sweating and stripping down and throwing all covers off. My body is all out of whack. My legs have lost a lot of strength so walking long distances can be challenging. All in all though, I’m doing great. I have bad days and sometimes I even get mad that I have felt so great—or “forged on even when I didn’t feel completely great” is probably a little more accurate.  I think my family and friends sometimes forget that anything is even wrong because I try to keep up with my life as much as I can. And that’s a good thing! Having a husband who wouldn’t let me lay around and feel sorry for myself has actually been a great thing. Did I ever tell about the time I was resting on the sofa and he came inside and wanted me to come outside and TRIM THE HEDGES? I seriously wanted to take the hedge trimmers and cut his head off. I was so mad that he would wake me up when I was resting and actually ask me to trim the shrubbery! But looking back, those are exactly the kind of pushes I needed throughout this battle. Those are the kinds of things that kept me active and hopping!

Finishing chemo seemed surreal. It was surreal that I even had cancer but then it was surreal that I had endured 16 weeks of really harsh chemotherapy and it was now over. The staff at Blue Ridge Cancer Care is amazing and I hope none of you ever have to go through cancer care, but if you ever do, I highly recommend them. They are knowledgeable and loving and caring and that is a wonderful mix! Chemo was never a sad or morbid time for me. It was actually a FUN time! It was a chance to connect with others going through the same thing and it was humbling and I sit here and reflect with tears in my eyes…I will take those experiences with me for the rest of my life. 
Everybody has a story. Take time to slow down and listen. Really listen. 

I went to Florida between my last two chemos! Who does that??? I do! My Kansas cousin met me and Nat and we stayed with our aunt in Florida and we had such a wonderful few days! It was long overdue and I am so glad we got to do it! Cancer has a way of freeing your calendar for important things like spending time with family.

The sucky part is that the thousand year flood decided to come on the day we left. We barely made it to the airport and while we spent our dry, sunny days in the sunshine state floating in a pool and eating grouper, our hometown and surrounding areas were living a nightmare. When I left the house, our house looked like an island in the middle of a lake and our basement had several inches of water. After all was said and done, we had about 9 or so inches of water in our finished basement. 

We lost three trailer loads of things. Kevin had to pull up all of the carpet. Riley’s bedroom was in the basement. He lost his dresser and chest. I lost two pairs of Uggs which devastated me. I got water in my hope chest. We have no doors downstairs now and the walls had to be cut about a foot from the floor. Basically we are starting from scratch again and that sucks but we will do it with an attitude of gratitude, thankful that our house is still standing and our family is intact.

Tomorrow morning we leave for Myrtle Beach! Yippee! The Crushers have been planning and fundraising for a year now to make this trip happen. The Crushers are an extended family. Yes we play baseball but we also are a group of people who spend a great deal of time together making memories and loving one another and that is a really special thing that you don’t find everyday. I’m so proud to be a part of that group!

1. Yesterday my dad went to the doctor and he found out that he has “narrowing of the aorta.” More testing and then go from there. 

2. Kevin and I bickered over stupid crap yesterday. 

3. And for the finale, Riley’s car took a trip across our front lawn, through the ditch, across the highway and into the ditch across the highway yesterday with nobody in it. 

So yes. I had a very bad day yesterday, but even in the crappy days, we still have so much to be thankful for! 

1. I am beating cancer! 

2. Riley’s car wasn’t damaged. Nobody was injured!

3. We are all alive and well and "this too shall pass!"

When I went to the doctor on Tuesday, there was a lady in the waiting room with her daughter. She reminded me so much of my grandma that I actually cried in the waiting room. It was her voice and just the way she talked. Her daughter was asking her about pictures from when they lived in Michigan. The daughter said, “There was one of you with curlers in your hair.” That triggered the lady’s memory and she said yes she had those. For some reason, the thought of the daughter treasuring that picture of her mama in curlers has stuck with me. Our loved ones don’t care what we look like. They only care about our hearts. When we look back in 50 years, it will be those “hair in curlers” memories that will be the nearest and dearest, not the dressed to the nines selfies.

Momaw’s spirit was very strong that day. I know she has been with me every step of this journey. I know she has heard my cries and I can just see her running barefoot (I have no idea why barefoot but that’s the way I see it) to Jesus and telling him that her precious granddaugter is in need of healing and peace and getting all of heaven organized to get me well. I have no doubt in my mind about how that all went down! 

I have no doubt in my mind that the reason I have done so well with these treatments is not because I am “so strong” or “brave” but because of all of the prayers that have been humbly surrendered on my behalf. I can’t thank you all enough for that.

August 10 is surgery and I will know if the cancer is gone then. Your prayers have gotten me this far…our next united prayer is CANCER FREE on AUGUST 10!

#wegotthis

-lightningbug