Monday, February 19, 2018

Plan Crasher

February 19.

Today marked the two year anniversary of the day I got the “Unfortunately it is cancer” call.

A month ago, I told my husband that we were going to celebrate and make this day full of happy memories!

We were planning on getting all dressed up and having a fancy dinner. I had the perfect little black dress and heels picked out.

I didn't bother making a reservation because it's Monday and who the heck eats a fancy dinner on Monday night? At 4pm we realized the reason that nobody eats a fancy dinner on Monday is because all of the fancy restaurants around are closed on Mondays. My plans were getting all twisted and I didn’t like feeling out of control. It was oddly reminiscent of the way I was feeling two years ago.  

I came home from work and I wasn’t having the best day. I was feeling defeated. The gala planning had me stressed, work had me stressed and now my plans that I had been so looking forward to were all crapped out. I put my pjs on at 4:30 and I crawled in my bed and I curled up in the fetal position and I cried.

February 19—the two year anniversary of the day I got the news that I had cancer. And I am still here surviving and thriving! And I am in my bed in my pjs at 4:30pm crying because I felt so overwhelmed.

My husband came in and was excited and he said we were going to Drapers at the Greenbrier! I told him no. He knew I wanted to go there for my 40th birthday and get a banana split, but we didn’t make it. I could’ve made up for that tonight, but I was too busy wallowing. He left me alone for a while and then he returned. He sat down and said, “You’re not having the best day are you?” I shook my head no. He asked what was wrong. I replied that I sucked at life. He reminded me that I did not suck at life and in fact, I was pretty good at it. I cried some more.

About an hour later, he asked me if I wanted to go eat.

I said let’s go to The Rail and get a burger.

And so we did.

It wasn’t fancy and it wasn’t what I had planned, but it worked out.

February 19, 2016 was also a plan crasher.
But it worked out, too.

Here we are after a long evening but a great burger and a beer!

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