Saturday, June 4, 2016.
I had chemo last Tuesday. The chemo I
am taking now is called Taxol. It’s supposed to be easier than the first four rounds
and I guess maybe it is in some ways. Taxol has its own set of challenges,
however. You’ll remember last time I told you about my intense muscle and
joint pain. My oncologist said he was afraid I might experience that and he
seems to see it more with younger women. He felt that the second one wouldn’t
be as bad. And so far the second one hasn’t been as bad but when I hear “I don’t
think this one will be as bad” I actually hear “I think you will feel so great that you will be able to go out and jump hurdles!” Not exactly what he meant apparently. Last
night it started to hit me and today it has continued to hit me. I ached from
about 3 am up until I got out of bed at 7. I ran a hot bath and put some muscle
soaking salt in there and hopefully it will help. In addition to my legs aching, I
also am getting these shooting pains in my head. That’s always fun. Sigh. As if it’s
not enough to have cancer, then you get to think you’re also having an aneurysm! Ah. Good times! I hate not being able to get up and do what I
want. It’s definitely frustrating. I know I will feel better by Tuesday if I
can make it through these next couple of days—it’s just getting through the
yucky days.
The other thing that is annoying these days is my tasters
are completely off. I have no appetite. You have to eat when you have cancer
because you need your nutrients and your strength yet I want nothing right now.
Get this. I haven’t even drank coffee for three days. I have been drinking
apple juice because it tastes good to me. That is just plain insanity right
there! And I’m hungry! I sit around and think hmm, wonder what I could eat that
would taste good to me? Last week it was watermelon. I had an ice cream cone
yesterday and even that didn’t taste good to me. It’s frustrating. I can’t
wait to taste again. I love food and coffee and doughnuts—you know I haven’t
had a doughnut in probably two months? That’s just crazy talk!
Safe to say I'm pretty sick of having cancer. I’m just over it. It sucks. And then I feel guilty because I think of all the people
who have an illness that won’t ever be over—it will be a constant fight
forever. Rest assured my fight is not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes I have dark clouds and
thunder just like everybody else. I just try not to let it stick around very long.
I am having some neuropathy—my fingertips are numb and
tingly. I had this after the last treatment but it went away before I took the second
treatment. And I am so tired. I worked Thursday and I came home and I went to
bed at 5pm. I was just absolutely zonked. That usually seems to get better by
Tuesday so that gives me a week of feeling decent before it’s time to go back. The
good news is I only have to go back two more times! My next chemo is on my 39th
birthday! They offered to reschedule it but the truth is that knocking out one
more chemo is the best birthday present I can get. After that one I will only
have ONE MORE!!!
I think I have explained the process, but several have asked
so maybe I haven’t. After I finish my chemo (last week in June), I will rest
for a period of four to six weeks. That just pretty much gives my body time to chill out
and get ready for another hit. I will go back to see my breast
surgeon after I finish chemo and she will check things out and
then get things rolling to set up my surgery (should be August.) The surgery will be done with my breast surgeon and my plastic surgeon and will be about a four hour surgery. I am having a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. What does that mean? Both
boobs are going adios and they are putting in a balloon like device behind the
muscle that they can access to fill with a salt water solution every week or
two. That will allow everything to stretch over time and then in about three
months after that surgery, I will have another surgery to remove the balloon
device and have silicone implants inserted. There’s a chance more surgeries
will be required but I am being optimistic that everything will go great.
The surgery in August will be the hardest part of all of
this. I will be out of commission for a couple of weeks and knocked out on some
strong pain meds. I don’t look forward to that because I am a bit of a control
freak and I have NO IDEA how life will POSSIBLY go on without me for two weeks (think highly of yourself much, Amanda??) Gotta do what you gotta do I suppose.
Now that I have told you how I’m feeling and what the next
few months hold, I have to tell you about the FUN upcoming stuff! And there is all kinds of fun stuff!
Our baseball team has a tournament in Myrtle Beach in July! I wasn’t sure I would
be able to go after my diagnosis, but I should be good to go! I'm so excited! Rest and relaxation, salty air and
sunshine = best medicine for Amanda. Anybody who knows me knows that is
my 100% happy place.
The Battn’ for Boobies Softball tournament that my friends
have organized will be July 23 at Jackson River Sports Complex (get registered
if you haven’t!) It's way more than just a softball tournament so even if that isn't your thing, be sure to come down and hang out with us!
The Covington Lumberjacks are having a breast cancer awareness
night on July 26! Be sure to come out for that!
And last but not least, I am having a Bye Bye Boobies party
at The Rail on Friday, July 29. I have had the most AMAZING SUPPORT throughout
this journey and this is my chance to say thank you to everyone. Be sure to
come to The Rail and bid my boobs a fond farewell…a Boob Voyage…Ta-Ta to the
Ta-tas. More to come on that later!
If I could only figure out how to bottle up the support that
this community has shown me, I would give it to every person who is battling cancer.
You all have done more for me than I can ever express.
-lightningbug
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