I'd rather it cost us playing time than family time...

I am so tired tonight, yet I have had something stirring today and I wanted to get it out! 

Let me preface this by telling about my day. Kevin is gone on his annual hunting trip and I am single-momma’ing it for a few days. SHOUT OUT TO SINGLE MOMS and if you have a spouse, you need to seek out a single mom this week and you need to hug her and offer to do something like take her kids for the afternoon because I have no idea how they do it. Today I worked til 4:30. I got home and got Papi off the bus. Natalie had a scrimmage in Craig Co. that she really wanted me to attend. I was planning on skipping but she wanted me there. Before I left, I had to figure out how I was going to get Papi to practice and home and thankfully Riley was able to help me. The scrimmage went fine and we got home around 8:45. When I walked in, the boys were sitting in the living room and Riley was going over vocabulary words with Papi. Proud mom moment! Those two fight all the time so seeing them working together like that melted my heart! Papi then went on to tell me that he thought Annie had worms because she had been scooting her butt on the ground this evening. I told him I doubted she had worms but I would check it out later. (Annie had worms when we got her.) He carried her into the kitchen and I lifted up her tail. I said, “This is the problem! She has a little piece off poop on her bottom!" So I got a paper towel and went to wipe it off and it was still in her butt. So I pulled a turd out of a dog’s ass tonight. I’m like a freaking dog turd pulling out superhero. I need a cape. A doo doo brown cape.  And some rubber gloves and Germ-X. 

And then a coffee mug fell out of the cabinet and shattered all over the floor. That was so fun to clean up. And after all that, I finally sat down at 9pm and had a bowl of taco soup.

Now let me get to the actual point. I have been bitching on my Facebook about school attendance. I do not want to be someone who doesn’t support our education system or our schools. I want to be a supportive partner in my children’s education. I truly do. The attendance thing makes me angry. I understand it, but it makes me angry. If my kids were bad students or had poor behavior, I could understand, but my kids are excelling. My oldest son told me the other night, barring any unforeseen circumstances, that he would be a 12 time letterman at Alleghany High School. That means he lettered every year, every season. Few people do that. I had never even thought about it but what and awesome thing! And he goes to Governor’s School. He is excelling. He is taking courses that many kids in college haven’t taken yet. And Natalie plays sports also and was on the A honor roll last six weeks and Papi is on the honor roll and plays travel baseball and basketball.

In September, after a cross country meet and after checking on my dad in the hospital, our family left on a Saturday afternoon for Boston. We were going to Boston to Fenway Park to see my son’s hero, David Ortiz play at home in his last year of MLB before his retirement. We drove halfway up on Saturday and spent the night in Hershey, PA. We did this trip as cheap as we could, so we were totally excited that we could do the chocolate tour for free! WooHoo! That was so much fun! We learned how to properly taste chocolate. (I think I finally found my career!) We bought some Hershey bars and left for the next leg of our trip! We arrived in Brockton, MA that afternoon. We went to Boston the next day and spent all day in the city. We stayed mostly in the baseball district. I wish we would’ve had time to explore everything! Boston is so rich in history and culture! Hopefully we can go back! We took a tour of Fenway Park and got to sit on the Green Monster. We got to go on the field! The game was amazing and the Sox won. Big Papi hit a dinger to right field and I had a feeling it was coming so I got the whole thing on video! 

It was hands down the best trip we have ever taken. The next day we left and we stopped in New York City for a few hours and while that wasn’t my favorite place, at least we can check it off the ole bucket list now!

Because of that trip, my kids missed Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of school. They all had three unexcused absences only one month into the semester. Now each of them have had a day or two of fever or not feeling well and now I have received the Virginia state mandated phone call conference and letter. I understand that the counselors are only doing what is asked of them and I mean no disrespect to our counselors. I appreciate the work you do. With that said, I would do it again a thousand times over. Family time trumps everything. If God forbid, something happened in your life to make you uncertain of whether you will be with your children to see them graduate, your views on the attendance policy become crystal clear.

And it’s not just the school attendance policy.

Natalie plays JV basketball at the school. I should preface this also. I played basketball in high school. I played four years of varsity basketball. I wasn’t bad. My dad stayed on me about basketball. He wanted me to have a good work ethic and I respect that. I don’t agree with the way he pushed me but I respect it. I was at every open gym and the year Alleghany didn’t go to team camp, I went with Covington. I worked really hard at basketball. And then after my senior year, I was done. I was burnt out.

Kevin has this week off of work. He is in Pocahontas County, WV deer hunting with his brothers and his dad and his nephew. It’s a week they look forward to all year. Tuesday night he will come home and on Wednesday, we will leave for his brother and sister-in-law’s in Bridgeport, WV. We have been having Thanksgiving there because our nephew goes to college at Pitt and that’s the easiest spot right now. We have been looking forward to all of our family getting together under one roof and we all planned on staying until Sunday. We have a lot to be thankful for this year! Last year we got to Bridgeport on Wednesday and we had to leave Thursday night because Riley had a race in Charlotte, NC on Saturday.

This year Natalie found out she has practice on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. I thought about this and I prayed about this and I talked to my dad and I talked to Kevin and I talked to Natalie and I even talked to my preacher (because I work there and I tell her all my stuff!) and I prayed some more. I understand that being on a team and being a student is a commitment. It’s a big commitment. Huge.

In sports, you don’t want to ever let your teammates down. You want to work hard and play and perform to the very best of your ability. And let’s face it, if you don’t, then there’s somebody waiting to take your place. I know. I don’t disagree with that at all.

But now listen to my side. This has been one of the most difficult years of my life. Physically it was hard, but mentally it was brutal. This year I have really realized what is most important in life.

I said to Natalie “When you are 30 years old and you look back on your life, which may or may not include some of the people who are here now, do you think you will say, “I wish I would’ve left Thanksgiving with my family and gone back for basketball practice?”

And that’s also how I feel about the school attendance policy. My kids are good students. They are student athletes. They are kind and caring and loving.

There will probably be people out there who will say that’s not good enough. They will say I’m making excuses so my kids can be lazy. And we all have our own opinions and that’s ok.

What I am doing is making my family a priority.

When you are faced with something that can rip apart your future Thanksgivings and Christmases, you realize that family time is more important than playing time.

And I’m proud to say that my kids are understanding it and that makes me prouder than any award or accolade ever could.

(P.S, she is only going to end up missing one practice.)

Happy Thanksgiving.

Spend it with the ones you love. Dance in the kitchen. Make turkey cheeseballs. Sit at the kids table. Eat pumpkin pie. Belly laugh. Drink the wine. Don’t be ashamed when the thanksgiving blessing brings tears to your eyes. Be present.

What are you Thanksgiving traditions? What's your favorite pie?

-lightningbugflicker