You might be a Mom…
If you have ever lifted a child over your head only to have formula cover every inch of your scalp.
If you have received the dreaded “Your child has head lice letter” from the school nurse and then proceeded to the drugstore in a disguise to buy the treatment shampoo.
If you have ever been embarrassed in the Cracker Barrel bathroom stall when a proud 3 year old announces, “Mom, I went potty! Good job Mommy, you went potty, too! You get a sticker, too!”
If you have permanent scarring on your heel from stepping on a Lego in the floor.
If you have ever done the lick and wipe before you unload the kids from the mini van in the parking lot.
If you DRIVE a mini van.
If you have ever put 3 birthday candles on the cake when it’s actually your son’s 4th birthday.
If you have ever made a Halloween costume out of Reynold‘s Wrap and duct tape.
If you haven’t flossed in three years.
If coffee is a food group for you.
If you have considered drinking before 8:45 a.m.
If you have ever resorted to wearing black and white stripes and a whistle around your neck.
If you hold a party at your house for all the neighborhood Moms on the first day back to school.
If you have band-aids, germ-ex and teddy grahams in your purse.
If you have eaten teddy grahams out of the bottom of your purse.
If you have ever jumped out of your seat and hollered, “That’s my girl!“ when your child scored a basket.
If you have shown your coworkers more than 75 pictures of your little sleeping angel.
If you have ever used the words, “Because I said so!”
If you have made a play-doh pizza with 15 different toppings.
If you buy Ketchup directly from Heinz.
If the Walmart workers high-five you and call you by name when you come in to buy groceries.
If people run to get in front of your 2 cart-loads of groceries in the Walmart checkout.
If you can recite every Sponge Bob episode ever made.
If Kid’s Bop is in your CD player in the car.
If your family thinks the dinner bell is the squawking of the smoke detector.
If you never know who will be in bed with you when you wake up!
If you have gotten in your car and realized you still have on your slippers.
If your favorite vacation spot is a Friday night on the couch in the middle of your kids.
If you have laid in the middle of the yard and discovered mythical creatures in the clouds.
If you can make one heck of a mud pie.
If you have ever written a note and secretly placed in a lunchbox.
If you have a close working relationship with the Tickle Monster.
If you have ever left a note to the Tooth Fairy explaining that it was all your fault that the tooth ended up in the trash and please do not penalize the child.
If your refrigerator is unrecognizable because of all the artwork adorning it.
If you have run the school bus down to get a backpack to your child.
If your child’s pediatrician is on your Christmas Card List.
If a bedtime prayer brings tears to your eyes.
If you refer to facebook as “My lifeline to the adult world.”
If every night of your life ends with the words “Love you more.” ~arg
