Thursday, June 9, 2016

Meet Brownie...

Meet Brownie.


He came into my life about 35 years ago. He has been through just about everything imaginable with me. Check out his eyebrows and his nose and his eyes and the wear and tear around his old mouth. He is showing his age. My Momaw sewed his eyebrows and his nose back on more than once.

I was downstairs in Leggett on Main Street with my mom when I was only about four years old. I actually remember this. I can almost see how the store was set up. Isn’t it funny what we remember? This little brown dog was sitting on top of a rack of children’s clothing. I fell in love with him. I can’t remember if my mom bought him for me or if we ended up going back after him on a subsequent trip, but Brownie came home with me. I wanted a real puppy from the time I can remember but I got Brownie until I was old enough for a real puppy.

Brownie was my buddy. I am an only child, so loneliness was something I struggled with. I had lots of neighborhood friends to play with and was socialized well, but it’s still not the same as having a sibling in the house. Brownie was my playmate when I was young and as the years progressed, Brownie developed a different persona.

My dad and I have always been really close. We may have a lot of differences, but I would say our hearts are the same. I was a very shy child—an introvert. I bottled a lot of things up and it has always been like pulling teeth to get things out of me. I would say I still have many of the same attributes. I have turned to writing for as long as I can remember because that’s the easiest way for me to get my feelings and thoughts to make sense.

My mom and dad fought a lot when I was growing up. I’m not writing tonight to blast my parents. It’s just a reality. They’re divorced now and should’ve done it way before they did, but life is tough and you do the best you can and when you know better, you do better. My mom and dad fighting was just one of the many childhood stressors—we all had stressors of some sort. When I would get all tucked in for bed, my dad would come in and sit on the edge of the bed and say prayers and he would make Brownie “talk.” And he used his voice but made it a super high pitched voiced and Brownie would talk to me about things that might be bothering me. Brownie has talked to me about my parents, broken hearts, girl drama, and a million other things that I can't even remember. What I remember is that I could talk to Brownie about things and open up when I couldn’t talk to anyone else. It was genius parenting and I have no idea where my dad learned that or if it was a complete fluke. Regardless, it worked.

Papi and I have been spending a lot of time together this week. He is really trying to take care of his mom. Tonight he made me popcorn and apple juice—my favorite lately. He has become really protective of me. Tonight he went to his room and got Brownie. (I passed Brownie down to him a few years ago.) Brownie did a lot of whispering in my ear tonight. He told me to tell Papi that he is doing a wonderful job of caring for his mom. He told me to tell Papi that he doesn’t have to worry about mom because she is going to be just fine.

And just like that…Brownie…a little stuffed dog is once again bringing love and comfort. I have no idea what my mom paid for that little brown down in Leggett but I assure you that it was worth every penny.



-lightningbug

2 comments:

  1. As a 30 year old (this year) this post speaks to me. My mother (Pastor Deb) linked this to me and asked for photos of my childhood stuffed animals. And I realized that I wanted to comment on this myself, instead of her sharing -my- experiences with stuffed friends making life a little bit better.

    I have two that stand out (technically three, but one isn't available for photos, since he's back in VA with mom.) 'Puppy Dog' and 'TJ'

    Puppy Dog: http://i.imgur.com/lxCIVIZ.jpg
    And Both PD and TJ: http://i.imgur.com/z54IhNO.jpg

    PD I've had since before I can remember. I've been told he was a gift from family when I was born, so that's almost 30 years in the making. As a child with a vivid imagination, stuffed animals always evolved their own personalities. Puppy dog was the dog I never had. Yeah we had cats (mom still does, but now has Chloe too) but never a dog. PD was wishful thinking and a bubbly personality. He has floppy ears (dubbed 'airplane ears' and would of course, 'fly' around the room with them) and a waggly tail. He was always a head-heavy toy, so he's occasionally be found butt up with that tail flying like a flag.

    My childhood wasn't traumatic (mom and dad are celebrating 30+ years together in July) but the stuffed animals were an outlet for that lonely-child that I made myself.

    High school rolled around, and I moved out of state. For some kids, this was 'the end of the world'. For me it was only a little bit of that, but ask mom and I was mostly on board. I never resented them for moving us, and I still don't. TJ I picked up at a local florist when I was in the 11th grade (about 15~16 years old) because I LOVED horses and he was just too cute. He has beans in his hooves and a bit in his butt, so it makes him floppy on top. I used to joke with dad and say 'he always looks comfy. You could throw him at the wall/couch and when he landed he always looked comfy, or just tired.)

    TJ and Puppy Dog now live with me and my husband in England, and TJ is my traveling companion whenever I -do- travel. (So far he's been to Wales, France, the Netherlands and Germany, including England.)

    And I have to say, even to this day, TJ and PuppyDog are both my best friends... Albeit the stuffed variety.

    Thanks so much for sharing, it's good to know I'm not the only 'adult' who still keeps their childhood stuffed animals! :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for sharing Liz! I loved hearing about your little friends!

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